Looking Back

If only we knew then what we knew now. If only we could have seen where that choice made us end up. If we could have just said no. If we could have just gone for it. If we could have just kept touch. If we could have just lost touch. If we could have let go sooner. If we could have held on longer. If we could have not let our emotions get the best of us. If only we spoke up. If we had of stayed quite. What would be different. What would have changed. Would would have stayed the same. Who would have stayed who would have left. What truth would have come out. What would have stayed hidden.

Sometimes we relate the people that were around us during that time to the life we used to have. The way things used to be. We think we may miss the person but in reality we only miss the situation. All those things that were around us were great. They were positive. They helped keep life going in the right direction. It was us who got life that way in the first place. That’s a thing we tend to forget. We got ourselves there once. We are capable of getting ourselves there again even if we don’t believe we can. The environment we put ourselves in plays a role in our success.

Many of us look ahead. But only so far. Maybe we look ahead to our next paycheck, but do we look ahead to next year. Looking further than just the season, just this summer, just till college is out. Then what. Do we think things are going to stay the same forever. No. They don’t. Things change all the time and nonstop all around us. Things end and things start. We can’t be wishing it was yesterday. We can’t live in the past. We must live in the life the past set us up to. Because that’s what has us determining our future.

Now we look back. To a “better time”, wondering what we did wrong. But it wasn’t really what we did wrong vs right it was more what we could have done differently. Its not as simple as saying well I wish I had never have bought that expensive TV a month ago, I would have had more money. Well not necessary. A month is a long time. And a lot of things can happen. A lot of different choices could have been made. If you didn’t buy that TV who’s to say you didn’t buy a different one and still spend a lot of money or because you had that extra money you didn’t spend it on something else, you could afford at the time. But you can’t overthink it. Whats done is done.

We don’t have it all figured out now its going to fast. And we think back to exactly when it all started to go wrong. Well its not black and white. It’s more of something that creeps up on you. You don’t usually see it coming. Its once choice that leads to another that eventually leaves you wishing you could have chosen something else. Truth of it all is life gives you the opportunity to change things around it. Not bring them back to where they used to be exactly but to start building your life up again. It’s never too late to start.


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